What’s Your Prison? February Update
Managing Emotions: A Skill For Life
It’s a New Year, but the issues I encounter in my own life and those of my clients often reside in a lifetime’s worth of unrealistic and self-defeating beliefs about what emotions they should feel and how to deal with those which cause us pain.
Based on the unpleasant nature of painful feelings and the cultural conditioning we receive about controlling and minimising these emotions, it is common for us to wish to avoid such emotions and fight against them when they do occur. Unfortunately this is not a realistic or effective way to avoid or address such emotions.
Painful emotions are a part of the rich tapestry of life and are entirely appropriate in most of the situations in which we experience them. A far more effective strategy that I work on with my clients is to make room for these emotions when they occur, and to employ techniques that do not attempt to repress or fight such emotions, but to instead reduce their impact on our lives and decisions.
I recently had the privilege of discussing these techniques and how normal it is to experience painful emotions with a group of St John’s Ambulance teenage volunteers. Imagine the benefits of introducing all teenagers to such conversations and techniques.
Best regards,
Dr Paul Wood
In an interview with Phil Taylor from The New Zealand Herald, we discuss whether personal transformation is possible for people who have served terms in prison for serious crimes and misdemeanors. Read the article
We’re already two months into the year. How are you getting on with reaching your goals? If you want to discuss your progress, or if you just need someone to help you get back on track, get in touch with me about the benefits of The Five Steps to Freedom.
Initial sessions are NZ$150.00. Additional 1 hour sessions are NZ$300.00. Sessions are conducted in person or through Skype. All prices exclude GST. For more information please get in touch.
A recent article in the Huffington Post reflects on a study that claims that societies with higher levels of optimism about the future experience lower GDPs and higher unemployment. With a sensationalist title like “Positive Thinking Leads to Economic Decline” the article was hard to pass up, though it did raise an important question. What is the difference between positive thinking and selective belief?
The article argues that positive thinking causes people to ignore the information they don’t like, therefore increasing the likeliness that they will walk into risky situations. “Our capacities for vigilance and pessimism evolved for a reason: to get us and keep us out of trouble,” the author writes.
Fighting for freedom is not an exercise in biased optimism. If you avoid the truth of reality, there is no way you’ll be able to Make the Escape. Breaking out of your personal prison demands awareness, planning and commitment. Self belief, not selective belief, is what is needed for the journey.
Do you have any clients/students that are hard to engage with? Clearly headed for a life of crime? Defiant and resistant to positive change? Lacking any moral compass? On Wednesday, 4 June, I will be speaking at a seminar held at the University of Auckland on practical ways and interventions to activate real change. Click here for more information and to register attendance.